the other day, I was struggling to get my sh*t together. it was already 9am and all I’d done was change 3 diapers, feed the baby, feed the dog, and made one nespresso shot. pre-baby, I would have finished my daily workout, written a blog post, and responding to all of my work emails by 9am. oh, and I probably would have made a healthy kale smoothie too.
but in the present world where baby rules and I still hope to have some sort of normalcy, a morning “schedule” is anything but. and that leads me back to my morning the other day. things weren’t going as planned. let’s just say I wasn’t too enthused about being so “unproductive”. so I did what I always do when I can’t figure things out. I took the dog for a walk. thankfully, le bebé is all about taking walks and usually falls asleep as soon as I’m down the street. so this particular morning, I started walking with the intention of getting something to eat. I could have made some eggs at home or grabbed a healthy smoothie at the cafe around the corner, but my mind was elsewhere.
specifically, my mind was obsessing over sugary carbs. you know the ones – taunting you in the bakery windows, telling you that just one bite won’t hurt and then BAM! it’s gone and you’ve devoured the entire thing in 6 seconds flat. or is that just me? anyways, I was looking to do some damage.
after a good stroll, I happened upon a coffee place I had yet to try so I sauntered in. and then all of a sudden, there it was – an eye smoldering bacon maple donut. it had me at hello. but just as all good love stories, something else caught my attention. just to the left of the donut was a banana chocolate scone (cue romantic music). and if any of you have known my addiction to chocolates with bananas, you’d know this was extremely tempting.
so the decision was mine – go with the old faithful flavors of the scone or branch out and eat the donut? and based on the subject of this post you’re probably guessing I choose the donut, right? correct! well, almost at least. I got the donut AND the scone (and a big ass cup of coffee). you heard me, I got both of the treats on a morning when I wasn’t sure I was going to survive. and guess what? I felt better after. yes, I did eat the donut in 2 seconds. yes, I made weird sounds when I ate the scone. and yes, I emotionally ate. but I also left that cafe feeling victorious and inspired to tackle the day. I had a sleeping baby strapped to me and a full stomach.
that morning was a small victory, but a victory all the same. I’d successfully pulled myself out of some weird feeling-sorry-for-myself pit and entered into a much more productive state (mentally at least). and the next time I feel guilty about getting the donut*, I’m going to be a little kinder to myself and chill out. because, hey, sometimes you just need to get the donut AND the scone.
*disclaimer: you cannot, as I had hoped, eat donuts every time you want them. you can, however, eat them when you need them. you’re welcome.